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Jerks & Liars

At Capella, don't expect to find such basics as honesty and integrity - this page, and the individuals mentioned on it, are just some of the fine examples of what may be found there!

Before we list some of the jerks and liars at Capella University, we would like readers to note the following:

The information on this page is therefore dedicated to the bigots, horse's ass', jerks, idiots, con artists, charlatans, liars, etc. at Capella "University."

Capella University Officials, Faculty, and Staff

Crapella University Sucks proudly salutes the following individuals for their exceptionally vile roles in abusing students, lying to law enforcement agencies, censorship of genuine academic discussions, and participation in a whole plethora of other activities. Please note this list is not complete and information will be added as time permits. To view these individuals' stories, simply click on their name! If the name does not yet have a link attached to it, then information is being prepared for publishing on this web site. Enjoy!

• Michael Offerman - President, Son of Enron, and Researcher Extraordinaire
• Karen Viechnicki - Provost, Liar, and "Little Miss Ostrich with Her Head in the Sand!"
• Greg Thom - Vice President, Government Affairs, General Counsel, & Secretary to the Board of Directors. So, just how many ways is it possible to say "liar?!"
• Kurt Linberg - "Executive Director" and Head LIAR for the "School of Technology" and "School of Business."
• Priscilla McNulty - Greg Thom's side kick (another one of Capella's esteemed "attorneys") who is either stupid or a liar. This one also invents "facts" to hide her ignorance of the truth.
• Shawn Ambrose (a.k.a., "Capella Rocks") - talk about wackos! This guy single handedly served as Capella University's entire cheerleading squad for over a year and lives to spew his oral flatulence all over anyone who happens to tell the truth about Capella University. As Capella's head cheerleader, this nut takes that cake!
• Diane Stottlemyer - Faculty, Capella's School of Technology. This fine individual has a nasty habit of using the prefix "Doctor" to her name. The only problem is, she bought this "degree" from a diploma mill!
• Lisa Wheeler - Vice President of Advising and Academic Support (is that an oxymoron?)
• Tamara Kuchar - "Manager of Advisors" and a liar!
• Eric Strack
• Juanita Ikuta - Wait until you find out about this Capella jerk! More will be posted in the very near future!
• Jack Krichen - Faculty Director, School of Technology. Not only is this guy a liar, but he also "manages" School of Technology "faculty" (such as Diane Stottlemyer) who purchased their "degrees" from Diploma Mills!
• Brian Imholte - Assistant Enrollment Director
• Ann Christiansen - This one never left Romper-Room! Coming soon!
• Lisa Bromenshenkel - Capella's Disabilities Services Coordinator
• Jim Wold - "Executive Director" of the School of Education and King of Pabulum
• Bruce Weiss - "Executive Director" of the School of Psychology - Mr. Nice Guy!
• Daniel Iliff - this snot-nosed Capella University employee sends hate mail to the attorney representing the student who is suing Capella. Talk about STUPID?!! <GRIN>
• and many, many others ...
• Brian Robran - One of Capella's "Measurement Managers." Wow, this guy has some astute observation skills! Read all about them on a page devoted to a declaration he wrote, on behalf of his employer, for the court!

Capella's Poster Child, Cheerleading Squad, and Potty-mouth!

The following are some of Capella's fine graduates, poster children, cheerleaders, and others who aid and abet the "university." Interestingly, the goons listed below seem to serve Capella in different capacities - so far, we've got a poster child, a cheerleading squad, and even an official potty-mouth! Impressive!

Poster Child

• Vickie Cook - Capella University's Official "Poster Child" (or was the Ms. Walmart?) - Find out about her gross lack of ethical behavior, incompetence, and arrogance! Perhaps the most disturbing thing about Vickie Cook is that she also happens to be a "Dean" at Kaskaskia College - not to mention her service on Capella's "Alumni Board"! Oh yeah, let's not forget her own business deals with Capella and her latest stunt - one of the dumbest declarations ever submitted to a court (under penalty of perjury, no less) where Vicki Cook's hallucinations are submitted on Capella's behalf - this one is simply too funny to miss!

Cheerleading Squad

• Shawn Ambrose (a.k.a., "Capella Rocks") - talk about wackos! While this jerk single handedly served as Capella University's entire cheerleading squad for nearly two years and lives to spew his oral flatulence all over anyone who happens to tell the truth about Capella University. In a bold act of sleaze, Capella University has hired this nut as a member of their esteemed faculty!!
• Robert Evans - Capella has a new cheerleader! It appears as if this clown has replaced Shawn Ambrose. For now, we've bestowing the title of "Junior Cheerleader" on Bobby. We can't help but wonder how long it takes before Capella's counsel clips this one's pompoms?! (July 2005)

Potty-Mouth

• Brian Parrish - This jerk recently revealed himself as Capella's Official Potty-mouth. You'll soon see that this vulgar little snot-nosed punk is a great example of the type of "learners" Capella University must attract to their undergraduate program!