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Capella's Dream Team: Bloopers and Blunders

Capella's Dream Team (i.e., their legal team) is already providing a lot of great entertainment value. We'll be posting information about the bloopers and blunders they've already committed in the very near future.

Now that Capella's Dream Team has had a chance to "settle in" to their role as defense attorneys for Capella University, their actions should come as no surprise to anyone. In fact, the rambling diatribes that they're now spewing at the court is filled with outright distortions, lies, fairytales, etc. are fully consistent with the nonsense we've come to expect from Capella University. What most surprises us; however, is that they simply can't seem to follow even some of the most basic requirements placed upon them by the court (more on that in a moment).

Before we continue any further, we would like to introduce site visitors to Capella's "Dream Team" - two attorneys from the Law Firm of Drinker Biddle whose specialties include such honorable things as representing pharmaceutical companies (Impressed? We're not!) and toxic waste interests. In addition to that, Drinker, Biddle, & Reath serve as Capella University's highest paid Federal lobbyist and received a whopping $110,000 for doing so during 2003 (the last figures available)! Capella's attorneys are:

• Stella Fey Epling (http://www.drinkerbiddle.com/fepling/) who, according to the California Bar Association was admitted to the bar in 1997. Interestingly, on November 9, 2005, Capella Stella wrote an "apology" to the court because the plaintiff rightfully noted that, once again, Capella University was in violation of the court's rules. In honor of that event, we've now added our first piece of poetry to this site, appropriately titled, "Capella Stella: Ode to One of Capella University's Defense Attorneys." After all, it's the least we can do to honor one of Capella University's latest antics!
• H. Christian L'Orange (http://www.drinkerbiddle.com/clorange) who specializes in "matters including both large scale toxic tort and clean-up cases" and the "representation of manufacturers in the pharmaceutical and nutritional supplement industry in cases involving allegations of personal injury and misleading business practices." Somehow, it seems very appropriate that L'Orange represents toxic waste interests, drug manufacturers, and Capella University - after all, they're all in the same business, right?! On a similar vein, Drinker Biddle also represents Merck & Co., makers of Vioxx. We can only hope that Merck provides Drinker Biddle attorneys, such as Mr. L'Orange, with lots and lots of free samples!

Bloopers, Blunders, and . . .Perjury? Hmmm...

It is our opinion that, to date, Capella's Dream Team (Epling and L'Orange) have raced out of the gate spewing as much toxic waste as possible; here are a few details (click on the respective links as we'll devote individual pages to each item):

• Capella Stella Fey Epling offers to write letter for law enforcement agency that is investigating her client, Capella University! Does this display a lack of ethics or what?!
• Has Capella University violated the court's rules again? We certainly believe so!
• Extra time and a botched filing - Capella University didn't have "enough time" to initially respond to the lawsuit so they had to request additional time. Even then, they couldn't comply with the requirements of the court and have already been threatened with sanctions!
• Has attorney Stella Fey Epling committed perjury? We believe so! We urge you to decide for yourself.
• Sir Chrisy the sissy whines to the court. H. Christian L'Orange has a meltdown. Boohoo!