Vickie Cook Lies to
Federal Court Under Penalty of Perjury!

The following contains the complete text of the declaration that Vickie Cook filed on behalf of her alma mater, Capella University. The only thing we've added are comments and links to appropriate sources that demonstrate that Vickie Cook knowingly lied to the court (or to substantiate other facts). Additional information about Vickie Cook may be found on the pages dedicated to her elsewhere on this site.

In addition to the text version provided below, you may also view a copy of Vickie Cook's official declaration (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)! We hope you enjoy fiction!

I, Vickie Cook, do declare and say:

I am the Dean of Continuing Education and University Alliance for Kaskaskia, located in Centralia, Illinois: I make this declaration in support of Capella University's (Capella) Reply Brief In Support of Opposition to Plaintiffs Motion to Strike. This declaration is based on my personal knowledge, and if called as a witness, I would and could testify competently thereto.
I am a former Capella student and completed my dissertation requirements in March 2004, leading to my Ph.D. in Higher Education Leadership. I participated in Capella's graduation ceremony conducted in June 2004.

Vickie Cook Wasn't a Student at Capella When This Case Began

Vickie Cook admits that she "completed [her] dissertation requirements in March 2004" and yet this lawsuit involves events that took place after April 1, 2004. Why, then, would Vickie Cook be involved in this matter at all?! Of course, she fails to mention all of the advertising materials and other propaganda she has appeared in as one of Capella's rag-to-riches poster children. Oops, let's not forget the fact that she has also served on Capella's Alumni Association Board. Hmm...

My first contact with (La Marca) plaintiff herein, occurred in April 2004 when I responded to one of his electronic posts made on either "Career Board" or "General Discussion Board", discussion boards maintained by Capella. In his post, La Marca described problems he believed existed with the implementation of WebCT by Capella. Sensing his frustration, I responded to this post providing suggestions of who he could call, within Capella, to address the problems he described.

Vickie Cook's Messiah Complex

With "friends" like Vickie Cook, who needs enemies!

On April 17, 2004, I once again saw a post by La Marca wherein he described filing a lawsuit on behalf of every Capella learning disabled student. On April 17, 2004, I responded to this post and protested his filing on behalf of all learning and physically disabled learners without consulting with anyone. Attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 22 is a true and correct copy of La Marca's post and my response.

Vickie Cook Displays Her Stupidity!

As noted above, Vickie Cook had already completed Capella's requirements for a Ph.D. in Higher Education Leadership (is that an oxymoron?) before she started her attacks. One would think that any competent individual who had completed a real course of study in "education leadership" would know that:

No lawsuit has ever been filed "on behalf of every Capella learning disabled student" (of course, even now, Vickie Cook is too stupid to admit that) - a complaint; however, was filed against Capella with the United States Department of Education.

It is the legal right of every American citizen to file a discrimination complaint on their own behalf, or on the behalf of others with the United States Department of Education! This is clearly documented on the United States Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights web site, which states:

"WHO CAN FILE

Anyone who believes that an educational institution that receives federal financial assistance has discriminated against someone on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or age, or who believes that a public elementary or secondary school, or state or local education agency has violated the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act, may file a complaint. The person or organization filing the complaint need not be a victim of the alleged discrimination, but may complain on behalf of another person or group [emphasis added]."

Of course, as Vickie Cook had just completed all of Capella's requirements for a Ph.D. in Higher Education Leadership, she was simply too stupid to understand this basic right of all Americans. For Cook to continue to imply in her declaration that such complaints are not appropriate (nearly two years after her original insipid post was made), demonstrates her blatant disregard for the law. We just hope that she doesn't continue to spread her nonsense to unsuspecting students at either Kaskaskia Community College or Antioch University, McGregor. The fact remains that all Americans are entitled to file discrimination complaints on behalf of themselves or others - and they don't need to ask for Vickie Cook's permission!

After my e-mail of April 17, 2004, I never again responded to a post by La Marca, but continued to monitor the dialogue on Capella's discussion boards between La Marca and other Capella students. On some occasions, I responded to posts by some of those students. However, on June 4, 2004 at 10:26 P.M., La Marca posted a message directed to my earlier post on April 19, 2004 protesting his filing of a class action. Attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 23 is a true and correct copy of his post. In this post, he stated I had no experience with WebCT, which presented serious problems, in his mind, with my initial statements set forth in my April 17, 2004 post. La Marca further stated, "I find this to be extremely disturbing."

Vickie Cook is Clueless!

As noted above, no "class action" lawsuit was ever filed. We'll address other items in the preceding paragraph in a few moments.

On June 4, 2004 at 10:38 P.M. on the same discussion board, Minta Thompson (a Capella student) forwarded a response to La Marca which contained the statement

"I question your knowledge of her [Cook's] experiences - - as it appears the two of you haven't chatted over coffee to get to know each other. I could be wrong here.... but, how would you know about her experience or understanding of that population within Capella or other segments of her life for that matter?"

Attached to this declaration is a true and correct copy of Thompson's post. La Marca responded to this message on June 14, 2004 at 1:08 A.M., although his post reflects that his message was originally posted on June 11, 2004 at 3:48 A.M. His post contained the following statement [Note, as neither Cook nor Capella's Dream Team seems to be concerned with honesty - we've broken up the following statements to reflect their true authors. We'll post the complete documents later.]

[Minta Thompson stated] "Lastly [sic] (as I must get back to my less entertaining writing) LOL I feel you owe her an apology for your statement regarding her accomplishments!"

[La Marca stated] Minta, you really ARE funny! A little research WAS undertaken before my comments were made!".

Attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 24 is a true and correct copy of Thompson's post and La Marca's response.

As a result of the comments contained in Exhibits 23 and 24 and subsequent postings, I forwarded an e-mail complaint to Capella advising that I found La Marca's comments offensive and demeaning with respect to my opinion and my education. I also advised Capella that La Marca had commented he had done his research about me, a comment that I found to be frightening. Attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 25 is a true and correct copy of my complaint to Capella.

Vickie Cook is a Passive Aggressive Coward (and a Liar)

Well, we've got to admit one thing - Vickie Cook did write the following e-mail. As has been so characteristic of Capella's sleazy Dream Team and those they represent, they did not provide a "true and complete copy" of that e-mail. Please note that:

The following items were intentionally left off Cook's e-mail (just examine the document provided below to verify this fact):

Any and all e-mail headers,
the person or persons the e-mail was sent to,
the person (Vickie Cook) who sent it,
where Cook sent it from (again, we must assume that she sent it as an official letter as a dean at Kaskaskia Community College) - at this time, we assume she sent it from her work computer as she has signed it using her "title."
a subject,
date,
etc.

Vickie Cook was not only too much of a coward to sign her name (assuming that this is a "true and complete copy" - which, of course, it is not) but she didn't want any one else to know what a slimy backstabbing coward she is. Of course, she didn't have any problem using her official title of "Dean of Continuing Education & University Alliance" to impress others.
Cook also attaches "Ph.D." to the end of her name which, of course, would signify that she had already graduated from Capella before she wrote her hate-mail.
She refuses to acknowledge all of the students who were defending the student she was whining about. Of course, Capella University has also done the same thing.
Cook's passive-aggressive drivel was the only letter used by Capella's Kangaroo Court in their retaliation against the student. Furthermore, this document shows that Capella:

Not only monitors, but keeps records on students posting on their so-called un-moderated "General Discussion Board"

Lies about these students claiming that they "harassed others." when, in fact, the inverse is true.

Refers to Vickie Cook as a "Learner" and yet she had already "completed" her Ph.D. in "Higher Education Leadership" (please try not to vomit) and was already using her new "title" - Ph.D.

The following document appears as it was submitted to the court (with the exception of the "sic"). Again, a copy of this "e-mail" Vickie Cook and Capella's Dream Team submitted to the court may be viewed here.

Appendix 2

Communication Within Capella's Community Venue Text of web board communication J Lamarcal.txt

Letter from Learner who was harassed by Mr. La Marca

I found several of Mr. Jeffrey [sic] La Marca's comments offensive. Originally, I indicated I respectfully disagreed with his approach to filing a complaint. After that time, I did not respond to Mr. La Marca, however, I did respond to other learners when they made comments on the web board. Mr. La Marca made comments in his postings regarding my qualifications, my academic level, and me. Additionally, he made a comment regarding "having done his research about me." I found that comment to be frightening. I believe that his harassment of both myself and others who disagreed with him were tantamount to bullying and were uncalled for. I believe his postings were an attempt to devalue my opinion, my qualifications, and my degree.

If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I would appreciate you not revealing my name or my personal information to others, except Capella administrative staff on a need-to-know basis, regarding this issue.

XXXXXXXX, Ph.D.
Dean of Continuing Education & University Alliance
XXXXXXXX College

After my post to La Marca on April 17, 2004, I never directed another e-mail to La Marca nor did I respond to any messages he may have posted. Approximately one year later, I learned that La Marca had created certain websites which contained statements and material about my background and education and my professional accomplishments. I have reviewed and recognize the materials contained in Exhibit 14 to La Marca's December 29, 2005 deposition and they are similar to what is contained on the other sites and materials that I reviewed. La Marca's statements disparage my character and accomplishments, make false claims about me and make threats against me. After I reviewed the material contained in a number of La Marca's websites, I became extremely concerned, not only for my safety, but that of my mother. This concern was created by material on La Marca's websites which contained my photograph and not only my mother's name, but her city of residence. I was particularly concerned about her because she is wheelchair bound. As a result, I met with and made a report to our police and requested their protection.

Vickie Cook's Hysteria: Lies About Her Photo and Her Mother!

The above statement, made by Vickie Cook under penalty of perjury, is so far out in left-field that we can't help but wonder what type of hallucinations she must have been having when she wrote it. We're looking forward to the time when the court has determined that she has committed perjury. Here are the facts:

At no time has Vickie Cook's picture ever been posted on this site or any other site operated by us. Period. We challenge all visitors to find it! (Hint, you won't because it's merely a figment of Ms. Walmart's feeble imagination!) We will; however, point out that her picture has been posted by many others all over the Internet; these include:

Antioch University, McGregor - Vickie Cook apparently has no problem with contained on Antioch's site. Be sure to click on the link - isn't her sensible lace charming?! Hmm...

The Salem-Times Commoner - Vickie Cook's picture appears on the FRONT PAGE of this newspaper. We'll be discussing this little detail in a moment.

University of Illinois, Springfield - Gosh golly, gee whiz, Vickie! You are now "teaching" a course on "Foundations of Teacher Leadership" (please excuse us vile we puke) and your lovely photo is posted on their site. Are you going to call the police on them too?

Vicki Cook: From Wal-Mart to College Dean - This SHOCKING article not only touts Vickie Cook's illustrious rise from shelf-stocker to her fame as a Dean at Kaskaskia Community College but it also contains a NEW picture of her! Gasp! Please Vickie, call the police now - after all, your precious picture has been attached to this PR drivel!

Vickie Cook's disgusting lies about her photograph being published on this site may be hilarious but the utterly bizarre comments about her mother clearly indicate what a liar Cook really is! At no time has her mother ever been mentioned on this site (or any other site operated by us) until the date that this page was posted (February 2006). Period. For Cook to whine about her mother's alleged condition (heck, she's probably lying about that too) and blaming it on us is just plain sick! In fact, until Vickie Cook's declaration was obtained, we didn't know anything about her mother!

Vickie Cook's filing of a police report "to request their protection" is utterly loony - in the most literal sense of the term!

While Cook's ramblings are utterly bizarre, the fact that Capella's sleazy Dream Team would have the audacity to submit such a pile of excrement to the court also shows to what lengths Capella Stella Fey Epling and Sir Chrisy the Sissy L'Orange will stoop to in their sleazy smear campaign to hide the facts. Of course, like all pathetic and unethical lying cowards, neither Cook nor Capella's Dream Team attached any evidence to substantiate her blatant lies.

Obviously, Vickie Cook's asinine and wacky story about her mother represents just one of the numerous attempts by Sir Chrisy the Sissy L'Orange and Capella Stella Fey Epling to throw as much fecal material they can dredge up against the wall - hoping, of course, that some of it will stick.

In order to provide the facts and to figure out just where Vickie Cook, the nut-case, dreamt up her pathetic story, we thought we would look around the Internet to find out where her hallucinations originated - not surprisingly, it didn't take more than a few moments to find the TRUTH. Here's what we found:

A simple Google search for the terms " vickie cook" (without the quotes), turns up hundreds of thousands of hits. Interestingly, one of the first ones happens to be a link to an article entitled, "Cook Earns Doctorate" that appeared on the FRONT PAGE of the Salem-Times Commoner. This article not only prominently displays Ms. Walmart's sacred picture but also mentions her mother! Gasp! Call in the National Guard (hey, that means that Shawn Ambrose might have to come to Cook's rescue)! This article was posted on the Internet on or about July 9, 2004. It is still available for your viewing pleasure at: http://www.salem-tc.com/News/2004/0709/Front_Page/022.html Note - we've provided the entire URL to demonstrate that the article appears on the FRONT PAGE - click on it, you won't be disappointed!

A Yahoo! search is just as enlightening! Again a search for the terms " vickie cook" (without the quotes) turns up even more hits - when we last checked there were well over 771,000 (yes, that's nearly three quarters of a million). Guess where good 'ole Vickie and her mother are? On February 8, 2006 they were listed as item number twelve (12)!

We can't help but wonder if Vickie Cook also filed police reports on the Salem Times-Commoner, Google, and Yahoo!

Vickie Cook's Hysteria: Her Police Report Asking for "Protection"

Vickie Cook's "Police Report" is sure to be one of the most hilariously bizarre items on this, or any other site about Capella University! We'll be posting the entire report about Vickie Cook's hysterical whines for police protection as soon as it becomes available. This is one item you won't want to miss!

BTW, we can't help but wonder if Vickie Cook also filed police reports against the Salem Times-Commoner, Google, and Yahoo! for posting her picture and information about her mother. Should be very enlightening!

I have read those pages of La Marca's deposition transcripts where he discusses me. These pages are attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 26 and incorporated herein by reference. In his testimony, La Marca states at Page 111, lines 13-14, that I have constantly attacked him. As stated in paragraph 5, I never contacted La Marca by e-mail after my April 19, 2004 post. In several additional posts, Exhibits 23, and 24, La Marca attempts to correspond directly with me, addresses me personally, or discusses me at length with others.

Vickie Cook Continues Her Hallucinations

Vickie Cook must have had a psychotic episode (or worse) when she wrote the above fabrication of her obviously troubled mind.

The Facts:

The Plaintiff has never attempted to contact Vickie Cook by e-mail or any other means - not once, not a single time! The only "communication" that occurred appeared on Capella University's censored "General Discussion Board" where Vickie Cook started her smear campaign against the Plaintiff! Obviously, Vickie Cook is simply a fruitcake.

I have never responded to these e-mails. I have never spoken to him on the telephone nor have I ever met him. I engaged in no dialog on any website wherein La Marca was discussed. Further, in the posts contained in Exhibit 14 (attached to his deposition), he accuses me of being ignorant, an unethical passive aggressive coward, a backstabbing coward, an abuser of students, a tattletale, a promoter of selfish goals, a member of Capella's thought police, a liar and a hypocrite.

More Drivel

Of course Vickie Cook "never responded to these e-mails" - that's because there weren't any! Nor did she call on the telephone or attempt to meet" the Plaintiff. She continues to display; however, that she is:

ignorant

an unethical passive aggressive coward,

a backstabbing coward

an abuser of students,

a tattletale,

a promoter of selfish goals

a member of Capella's Thought Police,

a liar, and

a hypocrite

Her "anonymous" letter to her buddies at Capella certainly confirms many of these! Again, you may want to review Vickie Cook's sleazy hate-mail here.

He also states,

“her ‘success story’ posted on Capella University's website provides some interesting warm fuzzies about her - it describes her illustrious career as a WalMart employee (which, we might add, recently made an agreement with Capella University) prior to catapulting to the top of the heap at Kaskaskia College."

Based on my review of his statements, I believe La Marca is inferring that I have selfish goals and have profited from some arrangement between Capella and WalMart. I had no involvement in any agreements recently reached between WalMart and Capella, as I left WalMart in 1990. At no time was I ever in a position at WalMart to participate or negotiate any deals between WalMart and anyone else. I have not personally profited, been compensated for or received any type of monies resulting from any agreement reached between WalMart and Capella.

Ms. WalMart Tries to Distance Herself From (Gasp!) - WalMart!

As with all two-faced backstabbing passive-agressive lying cowards like Vickie Cook, she tries to change her story to fit her own vile attacks on others. Specifically, Cook states that she "left WalMart in 1990." Whether or not that is true; however, belies the fact that even today (March 14, 2006), Capella University's web site still contains a news release about their poster-child's impressive rags to riches climb to fame. In that exciting piece of drivel, Capella states:

"After seventeen years at Wal-Mart, Cook took a job as Director of Family Literacy Programs at Kaskaskia College in Centralia, Illinois. Following a rapid succession of promotions, Cook became Dean of Community Education [emphais added].

"Retailing was something I fell into. The things that made me successful in retail and staff development are what make me successful with students-helping people set goals and achieve their dreams. When I left Wal-Mart, I was looking for something that would allow me to be of more service to individuals. It's been very rewarding."

As Capella University didn't exist in 1990, Cook's and Capella's marketing team, certainly seem to have a bizarre sense of time!

In repeated postings, La Marca disparages my position as Dean of Community Education and University Alliance at Kaskaskia College. In Exhibit 14, La Marca states, "in addition to all of the information that demonstrates just what a hypocrite Vickie Cook really is, her alleged "passion for improving the quality of adult education led her developing a partnership between Kaskaskia and Capella University" certainly tells all! The fact is, Vickie Cook certain appears more concerned with making big bucks for Capella and a name for herself while she helps other shelf-stockers and cashiers climb the higher education latter [sic] of incompetence!" In his deposition, La Marca was questioned about these statements at pages 111, line 22 through 114, line 16. In the absence of any investigation, La Marca infers I was involved in some form of a "deal" between Kaskaskia and Capella, and that my participation was solely for the purpose of creating profits for Capella and a name for myself. None of this is true.

More Drivel

Vickie Cook's ability (or lack of ability) to infer anything is utterly hilarious! Maybe she should go back to stocking shelves at Walmart - that way, others don't have to be subjected to her abuse.

What La Marca is referring to is The University Alliance Program. Kaskaskia College's University Alliance Program includes involvement by fourteen colleges and universities, and is designed to provide opportunities for our students to complete their bachelor's and/or graduate degrees, or take, courses at other institutions. This program enables our students to pursue courses and degrees in nursing, organization and management, accounting, applied management, business administration, elementary and secondary education, computer science, digital communications, healthcare management, as well as numerous other programs. These courses and degrees can be obtained through agreements we have reached with four year colleges and universities which include Southern Illinois University, Eastern Illinois University, University of Illinois at Springfield, Capella and others., Attached to this Declaration as Exhibit 27 is a true and correct copy of Kaskaskia's webpage listing those courses which can be taken online as well as the institutions which offer them.
I am and was the person responsible for Kaskaskia entering into these agreements with, among others, Capella. In 2004, I was contacted by e-mail by Ralph Green serving as Capella's recruiter for community colleges. I believe his e-mail was directed to every community college in the state of Illinois. As the result of our discussions, I completed the appropriate paperwork which resulted in our students gaining access to Capella bachelor and graduate programs. Capella's Community College Alliance Program is more fully explained in the true and correct copy of Capella's web page describing the program, attached to my Declaration as Exhibit 28.
La Marca's statements in Exhibit 14 and his deposition testimony attached as Exhibit 26 also suggest that I or Kaskaskia receive some form of payment as a result of the arrangement. He further states that my efforts with the Community College Alliance Program are motivated by my desire to make "big bucks" for Capella, or to further enhance my name. None of this is true.
La Marca's comments in the material contained in Exhibit 14, and his testimony in his deposition strongly suggests Capella has entered into a "deal" which involves payments to Kaskaskia based on the number of students enrolled at Capella. This is absolutely untrue. The University Alliance Program has existed at Kaskaskia for at least twenty years and has involved a variety of educational institutions. Neither the college nor I receive any money in any form as a result of the agreement reached between Kaskaskia and Capella. In fact, the only financial component of the agreement, as it applies to Kaskaskia, is that Capella waives any application fees for our students.
My efforts are not designed, in the slightest, to enhance my name. Many of our students are required to work and cannot attend a full time university or college. Relationships with institutions like Capella enable us to offer our students the ability to obtain bachelor and graduate degrees, even though they may be employed full- time, thereby enabling them to-seek better paying jobs and improve their lives.

I declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct